At Petrol Direct we understand that you are interested in finding out as much as you can about our history and background model, primary because you've bothered to click on the link to this page and have so far made it down to the second paragraph without trying to find something more interesting to do.
Just in case you are an American, or possibly drive a car made by Suzuki (except for the new snazzy new Swift), we will spell the purpose of Petrol Direct out to you in simple terms. This is a spoof. A parody. We do not sell petrol or any other fuels, and certainly not plutonium or antimatter. Sorry. This site is strictly for laughs only.
However, we do have some useful tips on how you can actually save on fuel bills:
- Drive more slowly. Fuel consumption in most cars at 60-70 mph (i.e. the posted speed limit) is much more effecient than at 80 mph or over.
- If you drive a huge four wheel drive (e.g. Discovery, Shogun, BMW X5) then you are a sinner against the environment and other road users. Buy something less stupid. Other people will respect you more and you never know, you might get your reward in heaven. (Unless of course you actually do need a four while drive for bumpy fields, snow, farming or climbing up hills!)
- Buy a Smart car. Better still, buy a Smart Roadster. That's fast and economical.
- People keep writing to us saying how good the Toyota Prius hybrid car is too - so heck, why not give one a test drive. You might like it!
- Or get a motorbike. Very fast. Very economical. Inexpensive to buy. But remember to ride safely or carry an organ donor card.
- Buy a diesel if you're prepared to live with the fact that they still puff smoke out of the back from time-to-time even if the person in the showroom assured you that they were all squeaky clean now.
- Move to the USA where fuel prices are about one quarter of those in the UK. But if you want to move to Europe, be aware that Holland, Belgium, Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Italy all price petrol at around the same or more than the UK. Holland is much more expensive!
- Get rid of your car and walk.